Mumbai is loud, busy, crowded, crumbling, building, hot, colorful, full of new smells. I have not yet recovered to the flight over- I lie wide awake at night in the shadow of the distant sun outriding its western afternoon and listening to the sounds of the night here. There are so many. taxis honking until 2 in the morning, men calling to each other or singing ancient songs to the dark alley gods. I blink and suck air from the sweetly dark humid night, with such clarity of thought and energy that sleep doesn't even feel like a faint possibility. TONIGHT, though, it seems inevitable.
Yesterday and this morning I woke early and attended a Satsang held in Ramesh S. Balsekar's apartment. Tom Thompson in Southern Pines referred me there and I found myself in a small apartment with 30 or so other travelers and Indians, many of whom have been in attendance on and off for many years, listening to this 84+ year old man's concept of God's will or cosmic law and our connection with it. It is heavily based in the idea that we are in essence non-doers (though our egos incline us to believe otherwise), incapable of altering God's will that lives and acts through us. We can act, but we have no control over the outcome, whether it means success, failure, or is beyond our expectations. so the answer is simply to do what you feel like you should do in each moment, trusting in God's will, and attributing your own free will to your genes and past conditioning, neither of which you can alter (though conditioning is always evolving). By accepting that you are incapable of doing anything on your own (since the ego as a seperate entity is illusory) you absolve yourself from guilt and blame, and can have harmonious relationships with the other instead of one based in rivalry, fear, distrust, jealousy, etc. It was very interesting stuff. Very interesting dialogue, with old Ramesh driving his concept home. After question and answer everyone goes to a nearby cafe for chai and lunch. That's how I came to find the private guest house I'm staying in. The little old couple who owns the flat is very sweet and the place feels very safe.
Today I went to the train station and booked a ticket to Bangalore in the morning. it's a 24 hr trip, so you won't hear from me for a day mom and dad. I leave tomorrow morning, 9:30 PM thursday night for you. I will likely stay there for at least a night and then plan to go to Mysore in the mountains to escape the heat (supposedly it's not even hot yet). I'll let you know when I change cities.
This afternoon I went to the Mahalaxmi temple on the shore, dedicated to the Goddess of wealth. I checked my shoes outside and waited in line with hundreds of women heavy laden with fresh flower garlands, coconuts, and lotus flower offerings. The men's line was significantly shorter. I pressed a rupee coin to the back of the temple wall with my thumb and it stuck (apparently a sign of imminent wealth- good, I need it) and got dabbed on the forehead with orange powder at the Hanuman temple. It was really a beautiful and colorful ritual to observe. VIBRANCY!
will write again in a few days.
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